I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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