So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
They took my balls.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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