But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
