Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just high enough for therapy.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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