Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
