mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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