i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
