Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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