Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
