I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
