i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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