So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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