there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
