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• (646): View more from New York

  Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?

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• (207): View more from Maine

  hows the new call of duty?

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  There was a lot of him and a little penis

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

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• (916): View more from California

  whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door

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• (989): View more from Michigan

  I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit

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• (623): View more from Arizona

  I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures

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• (716): View more from New York

  Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.

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• (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE

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• (281): View more from Texas

  He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.

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• (909): View more from California

  I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.

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