...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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