i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
