dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
