Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
