Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize