In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
