you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize