it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
