in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
