I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
