Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
