yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
