i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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