Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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