Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
