I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
