Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
