I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
That was an excessively violent trivia night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
