Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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