She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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