the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
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