there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
