just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize