I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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