final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
