Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
