Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
