i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
