The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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