dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
