well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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