With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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