i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize