69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
