My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
