Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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