Are we in a gay sports bar?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
