So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I bet he comes in French.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
