She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
