Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
