I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
