i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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