I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
