Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize