Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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