Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Randomize