I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
