I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
