just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Soap is not a condiment
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
