Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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