I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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