mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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