i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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