You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize