Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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