Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
